west kingston, jamaica
Get that cognition going
Welcome to Jamrock.
Crash course on the idiosyncrasies, obsessive compulsions, ire and thoughts of a scatter-brained Bandit.
Credits don't transfer, and you'll probably never graduate.
I Need Advice
The woes of 25. Of course, there’s no end to me complaining about something, but I would LOVE your input/advice on this! Thanks, guys! (and I don’t want children FYI)
Unmarried Nigerians over 25 suffer this fate, especially the women. As a man, it’s not so bad for me, but it still happens to us, just on a far lesser scale. When you tell folks you aren’t ready for marriage yet or god forbid you aren’t ready for kids, they will either be horrified or start to pity you like you have leprosy. It simply doesn’t register with them that someone can be content without marriage and children. Happiness is a one way street for Nigerians, and that street intersects on matrimony and children. Older Nigerians always want to concern themselves with whether you are married and they always want you to have kids, like they are the ones who will be financing it.
In my 20s, I used to just grin and bear it, or sometimes I would try to explain that I don’t want a family at the moment, but that’s just a giant waste of time. They don’t care about anything you’re going to say because they view people not terribly excited about marriage and family as abnormal. These days, I just cut people off mid-sentence. I’m not having it. I’m tired of dealing with these yeye elders who always want to bulldoze their way into your life decisions, even the ones you barely know.
When my auntie started talking to me about not having children, implying that there was something wrong with me, I told her that if I had kids, she was going to pay all their school fees. It was blunt and maybe a bit rude, but Nigerians tend to shut up when you toss fiscal responsibility on their lap. Anytime Nigerians bring up marriage and kids, I tell them to dash me money. Since they’re all up in the business of my loins and insist on me settling down and reproducing, then they should give me money to facilitate that process. Let’s see how concerned they really are about my future family.
To date, no one has cut me a check yet. Bastards.
Thank you so much for your excellent input! You explained the mentality of so many perfectly. I’m definitely going to start throwing the financial sponsorship around lol.
So it turns out my mother is secretly Nigerian! Plot twist!!!
Honestly, though, I do not wish under any circumstances to hijack or diminish the importance of cultural context here or anywhere — and especially when it comes to sometimes-dangerous cultural norms which demand that people reproduce whether they want to or not — but I am met with similar attitudes in my boring white Irish-American family. My mother has actually cried, for serious, because I told her I refused to have kids. I don’t want kids. I like kids! I think kids are great. I think it’s great that you, personally, want to have kids, I hope you have many kids, or just one kid, however many kids you want, and I hope your family is happy and healthy forever. I, however, am not sharing my body with a fetus, my nocturnal hours with a shrieking, pooping infant, or my waking life with a whiny and sticky-fingered kid. Or a teenager. Of any kind. I would rather share my home with nine Republican senators than one teenager. Teenagers are the font of all human despair in the universe. No. I have the emotional and financial resources to look after a pet or two, and maybe a fern, like a small fern that doesn’t need a lot of water, and that’s what I’m taking on, that and no more, and that’s just the way shit is going to go, and you’re either going to like it or you’re going to do a goddamned good job of pretending to like it. [*LOUD BREATHING*]
"Bloom": VLISCO’s Spring 2014 Lookbook.
In their latest Spring 2014 lookbook, Vlisco, the Dutch Wax clothing and textile brand with a strong presence in West and Central Africa, reinterprets florals with their appropriately titled ‘Bloom’ collection.
Yes! And my night has been made because I got an email from Vlisco requesting to send me fabrics so I hope some of these prints will be included! *greedy eyes*
My Nigeria So Far
Snippets of finally living back home after 9 years. Captured among family and friends between Lagos, Aba and Umuahia. There’s the heat, the traffic and no electricity, but all that fades for the better moments- Yagazie Emezi